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From Jayne Hitchcock: "I started to whittle the list down by deleting those with eyebrow-raising or just plain sad screen names, such as variations on 'loverboy,' 'mr. romantic,' 'lonely guy,' 'lonely one,' 'kiss me,' 'true love MD,' 'huggy bear,' 'party man,' 'sexy upndown,' etc. The Onion's Online Dating Tips offer this suggestion: Set yourself apart by choosing a descriptive user name like SocialRetard, CuteFaceFatAss, or RohypnolLarry.
Here's one from her Craigslist post:. EZ-Pass Key Phrase: "I'm just a hop, skip, and a jump away from New York City. Getting together for date 1 was an Act of Congress; he went on and on about the train schedules.
Then he cancelled out on date 2. He led me to believe that he lived someplace close in Jersey like Hoboken; turns out he was in Jersey alright the part of Jersey that's near the Pennsylvania border.
People of all shapes, sizes, and socioeconomic backgrounds are looking for love online. Here's a post-date tale from "anonymous" at Internetdatingtales. I am 40 to 50 pounds overweight, but I was honest about it. This man was 5-feet-9 and weighed in probably about pounds. But okay, my idea of a bit [overweight] and his idea of a bit may vary. So I wave at him and over he comes.
I felt bad that I had sat outside, because even though it was a mild day and there was an umbrella, he was soon sweating like a donkey. And the charm, wit, and humor he had on the phone was He mumbled and fidgeted, but kept looking at me like I was a glass of water and he was on the tail end of a long walk through the desert. So I did it.
I am so ashamed of myself, but in retrospect, what else could I do? I was sure every other blind date had coldly dumped him.
And I knew he was a nice guy, just not the guy for me. I deliberately set out to gross him out. I started to laugh too loud at the unfunny things he said.
And then, and I can barely type this, I actually put my hand in my armpit, pulled it out, and sniffed it. What about me? Here's my own actually my only interesting online dating experience. I was in school. In a new city, Chicago, lonely, and very cold. Her name was Bonnie, and her picture on Nerve. com looked cute, even dainty. After a few chatty e-mail notes, we set up a meeting at a yuppie beer joint in Lincoln Park. I arrived first, sat at the bar, and ordered a beer. Those moments before your date shows up are priceless--my mind started racing a little, I could almost hear a low drum roll.
And there she was--she walked in, sat down, ordered a beer. The tattoo on her neck wasn't visible in her online picture. She looked a little rough around the edges, Bonnie did. Tough, actually. She was about my height or a little taller, and she was built --and I don't mean built in a girly way, I mean she looked like she could bench press about twice my weight.
She ordered another beer. And another, and another. Her cool, detached attitude soon turned boisterous and aggressive. She lapped me several times beer-wise, and didn't seem to notice, while peppering me with questions about past relationships.
After about an hour I'd seen and heard enough. When I smoothly begged off, claiming a study group meeting, she just looked at me blankly--then, I thought, a little menacingly.
I thought I saw a vein pop out on her neck. After a long pause, she said, "You know, I think I'll walk outside with you. I felt the cold blast of the door swinging open, heard her walking behind me. My heart was beating fast as I stepped onto the sidewalk. I braced myself for a wallop and turned, but she was already lighting a cigarette. Without looking up she said, "See you around. Don't get the idea from this admittedly somewhat sordid collection of tales that online dating is all desperation, despair, and disappointment.
It's not. For some people it works so well that it becomes a problem. Consider the story of "Shannon" from Washington D. At times I tried to stop the madness. I'd take down my ads, I'd tell people I was taking a "break" from dating, I'd arrange to see the same guy several times just to keep me from going on new dates.
But always, inevitably, I'd log in just to see who was out there, what new ads were posted in my absence and I'd get reeled back in. Soon, Match. com wasn't enough. I branched out to Nerve and Yahoo, even Jdate not that I'm Jewish. As a result, I started having more dates than free evenings.
I became an expert stacker. My performance at work started to suffer. Between arranging dates and answering e-mails, I rarely finished my projects on time. Plus I started coming in late, hungover from the prior evening's activities. And I started taking long date lunches, because my evenings were already chock-full. At that point, my dating itself started to suffer. I started losing track of which one was the human rights lawyer and which one hiked Mt.
Everest, which one grew up on a farm in the Midwest, which one liked to make curry, which one was divorced and which one had been in the Marines. My ability to combine witty banter with piercing intellectual observations and shy but come-hither glances the ingredients, I knew, of a successful date was plummeting.
Slack-jawed, bleary-eyed, I could only listen with faux enthusiasm and nod at appropriate intervals to their monologues The site contains the world's leading communication tools allowing you to connect with others in real time through Skype, Instant Messaging, Video, Audio, YouTube and GPS on your Smart Phone.
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